May was tough for me; I didn’t have it all together. I was anxious, sick mostly, and tired. Work was draining, but my team and I pulled off different events across Africa. 20th May was a wild event day for me, but it ended well. Even though I needed to rest and take meds, I rewarded myself with a night out with my dearest friend and our community peeps.
So, this newsletter summarizes things learned in lane 27 (year 27).
I entered year 27 in Nairobi, Kenya. I was in Nairobi, doing one thing I enjoy; project-managing an incubation program with entrepreneurs with unique ideas. I had a calm day, went shopping, and spent my evening watching a scary movie 😒at the cinema with a close friend.
I came back to Nigeria to meet drama. I cried hot tears for a few weeks and moved into my apartment. Oh dear, it felt like adulting entered gear 2. I finally let go of my driver and started driving with full force in Lagos. Omoo!
I started wearing big girl pants in my cozy apartment. Living alone is expensive and can be lonely. Oh, you don’t want to know. TBH, if you don’t have to, I don’t recommend it.
One lesson I learned in year 27 was that ‘There are no perfect solutions in life. Only trade-offs and opportunity costs.
I spent the better part of year 27 accumulating optionality and too little time taking actual risks with high upside potential for myself or the world. Charting your own path is difficult. There is no rulebook; I did a lot of thinking, which was a time-consuming and challenging exercise.
An advice I like, that I intend to follow through — If you’re going to pursue optionality, pursue the right optionality. The kind with asymmetric upside, and limited downside. The kind that will get you skills, a network, and a reputation. And the kind that shows you what do, rather than confirms what you don’t want to do. — Erik T.
A few learnings on Lane 27.
1. Don’t forget to take care of yourself-
I read an article that said ambitious people don’t take care of themselves. It makes them burn out, and as a result, achieve less success. I don’t know how factual or true this is, but I know for sure that prioritizing self-care is as good as a day’s meal.
You can start by focusing on “the basics”: getting enough sleep, doing exercise, eating well, and maintaining your closest friendships.
2. Make mental health your top priority-
This cannot be over-emphasized enough, not with all the things going on in the world right now. Take a break whenever you can. Lane 27 had tough moments, but I learned how to detach myself from stressful situations.
3. Surround yourself with wonderful people.
In the past 12 months, great people (family, friends, and colleagues) have been my cover. I have a small circle of friends (tiny, lol) and many acquaintances. The privileges I enjoyed from them this last year were heart-warming. Thank you, you know yourselves. (Love you all).
4. Speak up! Close mouths, don’t get fed!
Yes, rejection is bad, painful, and embarrassing, but what if you get a yes? Remember to create a compelling story. No need for an epistle, you know this. After all, we are the Soro Soke generation.
5. Get it done-DYOR & ask the right questions.
I applied for something, and I didn’t follow up because I thought it was automatic. I finally realized I had goofed and fixed it, only to realize a week later that I didn’t finish my fixing because I didn’t ask the right questions. Oh dear, I was livid with myself and the system for stressing me.
*DYOR-Do Your Research*6. Recognize your triggers
What triggers you positively and negatively? Find out
Bonus: Understand your allergies. I recently reacted to ‘still trying to figure out’ what, oh you don’t want to know. The itch and discomfort, please. You need to find out. It could be seafood, water, nuts, cosmetic products, or even clothes. I used to answer “no” on those forms for allergens. I guess that’s about to change.
Lane 27 books worth reading
🥁Happy Sexy Millionaire — Steve Bartlett
🎨The Almanack of Naval Ravikant — Eric Jorgenson
🎯Range — Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World — David Epstein
🎮Untamed — Glennon Doyle
✈️We’re going to Need More Wine- Gabrielle Union
There were so many things I wanted to do or wish I had done right; several unaccomplished plans; and a full sizing of breakfast. In Burna Boy’s words: “Last, last, na everyone go chop breakfast.” Choking breakfast is not only for relationships o.
Check this out!
🪂 Our Rich Journey — I like their story and content, and I hope you do too.
🎙 No Ordinary Conversations — Your girl spoke, and thoroughly enjoyed the podcast. Check it out.
🎥 I enjoy Korty’s videos, it’s different and calm.
🔖 Verse of the month
John 14: 1 NLT
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me (Jesus).
Something fun:
From @MrLovenstein
On lane 27, I took a different approach to my shortcomings. I no longer punish myself for them; occasionally, I cry and analyze, but most of the time, I let them go and move on. I let go of my regrets, pain, and mistakes and took it easy on myself. I slowed down and took a few deep breaths.
As you audaciously tackle your goals this month, remember to take deep breaths and soak in the joy around you.
I clocked 28 two days ago. I am very grateful to God. Cheers to year 28 🥁🙏🏽👩🏽💻💃🏽👑💫🥂✈️⛱💵
Have a great June ahead.
Rooting for you
Glazed donuts & oreo milkshake.
#FillingswithTobyDonut
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