Becoming Isn’t Linear

This is for anyone who’s ever started something, paused it, and wondered if that meant they failed. I promise, you didn’t.

Somewhere along the line, I believed I had to get it right the first time.

That if I was going to show up in a room or an opportunity, I needed to be polished. Prepared. Perfect.
Because if I stumbled, maybe I wasn’t meant for it.
If I doubted myself, maybe they would too.

So I waited.

Waited for the confidence.
Waited to feel qualified.
Waited for the voice in my head to stop asking, “But what if this goes wrong?”

But here’s the part I’ve grown into and I’m still growing:

You don’t need to feel ready to become.
You just need to begin anyway.

I’ve failed before.

Quietly. Painfully. Loudly.

I knew about digital products in 2020.
I launched a podcast.
Who remembers the podcast? Haha.

It had potential. I had a vision.
But life happened. Focus shifted. I paused.
And for a while, I carried quiet shame around that.

Because we’re taught to finish what we start.
To be consistent, visible, always “on.”
But I’m learning to see it differently:

Not everything unfinished is a failure.
Sometimes, the pause is part of the process.
And sometimes, you can always pick it back up or start anew.

The podcast wasn’t a failure. My digital PR agency wasn’t a failure.

I needed to do those things at the time.
They helped me. Shaped me.
They were part of the story, not the end of it.

I’ve said yes when I should’ve said not yet.
I’ve let my guard down when I wasn’t ready.
I’ve walked away when maybe I could’ve stayed.
I’ve doubted my gifts in rooms that were meant to stretch me.

But none of that has disqualified me.

If anything, it’s been the proof.
That I’m still trying. Still listening.
Still learning to lead with something deeper, faith.

What I’m Learning to Allow

I’m learning to lean not on my understanding, but on God’s. Prov 3:5
To start before the full plan is ready.
To show up even when I’m unsure.
To rest without guilt.
To pivot without shame.
To try something that may not “work.”
To forgive myself when I fall short.
To watch out for red flags.
To take up space in the becoming, not just when I’ve “arrived.”

Failure isn’t the opposite of becoming.
It’s part of it.

Messy attempts are part of momentum.
Doubt is part of daring.

So if you’re waiting for everything to make sense before you move
Let this be your sign.

Start.
Stumble. Grow.
Pause if you must.
And when you’re ready... pick it back up or something new.

And when doubt creeps in, I remember this:
“And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This assures you of sharing His glory.”
Colossians 1:27 (NLT)

Failing isn’t the thing to fear.
Not becoming is.

With hearty, cheeky cheers,
kale juice & mixed nuts,
Oluwatobi